The Smarmy Git and the Pompous Scarhead
by Hile
Summary: 100 word drabbles chronicling Harry and Draco's snarky banter, sex, and life.
1. HD100 Challenge: Hands

Potter's hands are attractive - slim white fingers, unassuming, but reflexive. His palms are wide, nails square and unbitten.

Surprising, really.

Potter's hands are heinous at chopping roots, and are less than enthused to pick up a book.

They're hands that make thumbing the length of a wand look like pure sex. They're hands adept at clutching a broomstick.

Especially Draco's broomstick.

In the broom closet, where Potter kisses Draco feverishly while stroking Draco's cock, Potter pants that Draco is a smarmy git, and that he still hates him.

Draco's reply comes back, slow and patronizing.

"Of _course_ you do."


	2. HD100 Challenge: The Great Outdoors

"This is utterly stupid."

Harry pushed his glasses up the sweaty bridge of his nose.

"Completely idiotic."

Harry closed his eyes, and began to hum Tip Toe Through the Tulips at what might be considered an unnecessarily loud volume. The sound of his feet slapping against the pond water made him think of hammering.

"Why are we 'fishing' anyway, Potter?"

Harry sighed, "I thought it might be relaxing."

"You thought wrong. Malfoys aren't allowed to perspire, much less at this altitude –

"Draco?"

"What?"

"Shut up."

Harry's fishing pole sank into the pond as he captured Draco's lips in a kiss.


	3. HD100 Challenge: Narcissa

"Harry!" Draco cried, "Don't drink that."

Harry froze instinctively, the crystal close to his lips.

"Where is it, mother?"

Narcissa Malfoy looked elegantly befuddled.

"What do you mean?"

"The poison, perhaps? You could have been a little more inconspicuous – his tea is positively reeking."

Harry's expression darkened considerably. She had the decency to look abashed; a rose blush littered her features.

Draco had a feeling she was more embarrassed than apologetic.

"I suppose that might've been a little rude."

"Rude?"

"Draco," Harry soothed, "It's –

"And you! How could you not have noticed?"

Spluttering.

"Me…What?"

Narcissa watched speculatively as they bickered.


	4. HD100 Challenge: Polyjuice

Malfoy was in bed with Harry.

_Strange_.

Stranger still, he was _kissing_ Harry.

He was all blonde hair and roaming limbs. Harry thought it was rather pleasant, and that it was a nice departure from evil!Malfoy. Harry wished this one, attacking his lips with such fervor, would remain.

When Malfoy's nose began to lengthen, Harry wondered if he was a metamorphagus.

When Malfoy's hair began to shed, Harry rather panicked.

And when Malfoy looked up dreamily with bulbous green eyes, Harry threw him off.

On the edge of his four-poster, Harry warily eyed the figure on the ground.

"Dobby!"


	5. HD100 Challenge: Polyjuice 2

Hermione had taken the first few sips of the polyjuice, and she thought that the essence of Malfoy was surprisingly...

not unpleasant.

For all of his nastiness, his essence was refined. He tasted like grapes.

Even sweaty and sticky from release, Malfoy remained studiously appealing. When she came, she bucked his hips and crooned.

Hermione folded Colin's tripod absentmindedly, admiring the developed photos in Malfoy's beautiful hands - Malfoy crawling, Malfoy whimpering, Malfoy with his arse in the air - they were nice.

The next morning, when Harry eagerly snatched the photos out of her hands, she felt sorry for Ginny.


	6. dracoharry100 Challenge: Sleepy

Ron's head is on Harry's shoulder.

Harry watches sleepily as a thin rivulet of saliva trails from Ron's mouth down to his collar.

Professor Binn's mournful gaze sweeps across the room before he returns to reading the text from his desk.

Then a little paper broomstick hits Harry in his forehead.

He frowns and opens it gingerly. He sees the moving image of two highly stylised versions of Harry and Malfoy doing…

_explicit_ things.

Harry flushed pink.

He looked over toward the Slytherin side of the room, and eyed the platinum blonde head that turned conveniently around to wink suggestively.


	7. HD100 Challenge: Pink

"I hope you're happy, Potter, I look foolish."

Draco tottered gingerly into their bedroom in his pink stilettos, hair tousled, without a stitch of clothing on his body.

Harry's breath caught in his throat.

"Only muggles would subject themselves to these devices," Draco said irritably.

"And yourself," Harry amended, striding closer - his breath upon pale skin.

"If you believe this will become a regular staple, you're sorely mistaken."

Harry pressed Draco into a wall, his chin on Draco's shoulder and a tight hand on his cock.

Draco grew considerably quiet.

"Let me see if I can change your mind."


	8. HD100 Challenge: Run

"Malfoy – a word, please."

Harry is surprised his voice is as clear and assertive as it is; he might be able to pull this off. Nonetheless, he fingers the tip of his wand warily as Malfoy turns to stare.

"Wee Potty wishes to speak to _me_? How…degrading."

"I need to speak to you privately."

"Do you take me for a fool, Potter?"

"If you insist."

Harry lunges forward – too agile for either Crabbe or Goyle to react – seizes Malfoy by his collar, and kisses him roughly.

Upon sprinting down the empty corridor, Harry realizes that Malfoy was kissing him back.


End file.
